TMI!!!!!!!

Family history is interesting, but all of this potential gene mutation is a little too much!  My second son said we all have weak points, we're all going to die of something.  He did not want to know details, he did not want to spend his time worrying.

I wonder when there's too much information. Is there ever too much?  I also wonder if all families have mutations.  We live in such a toxic environment, is it possible for any family to have avoided this?

I hope my niece successfully pitches herself into the series.  Will this be a series?  What happens once the pilot is finished?

I often wonder if I am punishing everyone by withdrawing from the family.  The next question, though, is does anyone even notice?  I have those same mixed feelings - it would be so nice to have a family vs. I am so angry at this family.  Your healer said we have to work on forgiveness.  This is just another part of a very difficult assignment.

Since my birthday I have not eaten sugar or meat. My weight has been bouncing up and down through the same 5 pounds.  Yesterday it was at the top of that range.  I suddenly felt furious.  I felt such hatred for my body.  It shocked me. I didn't know that was in me.

I immediately stopped my thought process and apologized to myself.  But now I have that strange feeling that often follows a big argument...Do you still accept me?  Only I am experiencing that between parts of my own psyche.

I'm just a tad schizophrenic this morning.

And yet more forgiveness...

Hmmmm...maybe the to-do list faded because the pilot is done, and just the garden beckons.  That soothes and entrances me my Earth-sign sister!

Is it possible to connect cancer to abuse?  Families share more than genetics. We share patterns.  As we were abuse, often we can't avoid abusing.  And so generation after generation, we face the same traumas...

Just a thought...I have to get back to work.

I love you,

I'll be back!

Clare