tough day

Clare,
Tough day...
it shouldn't have been tough...
but I feel wiped out emotionally and physically.

I attended the monthly board meeting for my nonprofit...
it was a great meeting...
we decided to devote 30 minutes to development each month...
we had some great discussion today.
As we were talking about what my agency does I had an image of an umbrella or a tree collecting water and dripping it where it needed to go...and then the ripples moving outward concentrically from the drip.
That's what we do...
We empower groups to make a difference.

After the meeting I had to quickly run to the funeral. The old friend who died last week...
S#3 and I met at the church...
we stood in the receiving line...
her mother was there...
talking with people.
She took a minute or two to study my face...
and then I said my name and she remembered me. She was so grateful that S#3 and I came to the service. The service was a typical christian service...
a lot of "we- the redeemed" will all have a family reunion someday...
only through Jesus is the afterlife good.
Anyway...
S#3 and I left after the service...
we did not stay to speak with anyone.
A niece and nephew of my friend spoke...
about her love of pictures- she took thousands...
she had them developed...
the Walmart photo booth clerk was in attendance because she and my friend became friends...
it was quite a cute story.
It seems she lived to care for children, animals, and a garden...
she loved arts and crafts...
she smiled generously.
No one spoke of the cause of her death...
or suffering.
They did mention that she would no longer be crippled by polio...
which made people smile.
I wish I could have heard her voice...
or asked her questions about her life.
but that is a lesson for life...
seek out the opportunities to connect.

After the service I drove to a park that we are helping to restore. It was rainy and about 50 degrees. We had worked there on Tuesday and prepped an area for a perennial garden. Today the local store delivered retaining wall stone. The ladies in charge started to build the wall and made it too large...
and they ran out of block after just 1.5 layers into it. Instead of stopping and waiting for my return they decided to pour topsoil/compost into what they already had...
so I cannot take it all apart without a mess. They are worried because their budget won't cover enough stones to build it at this size...
I don't know what to do...
but it is their choice...
I'm standing by to wait for their decisions.
I wish they had more patience today.

I came home furious...
my youngest decided to call himself in absent today...
He's 18 now...
except he goes to parochial school and you'r a kid until you graduate.
He has had some many absences...
I'm concerned that they will not give him a diploma.
They sent a letter saying that students with excessive absences would have to make up time over the summer...
then they'll get the real diploma.
I don't want to have to wake him up all summer for make up time!
When I got home he had a friend here...
they rearranged his room...
and added a futon and a small couch to his room.
He wants to create a viewing room with a projector and all the accessories.
I wanted to throw shit out the window I was so mad.

I think that 2 weeks of steroids is taking a toll on me...
it may be helping my ankle and the swelling.
But it's not helping my disposition!

Oh well...
enough complaining.
Love and Light,
Maggie