limited capacity

Clare,
Let them claim you as one of them...
surrender into the safe, loving group...
you have watched for long enough.

The weekend of family and yoga was good. It was good to be there. It was good to be with family and extended family, and friends...
all who cared enough to join us for a cause.
Before they began the yoga class they asked us to call out names of those who had died from breast cancer...
I found myself calling out our aunt's name...
it felt good to connect with her...
in that space.
Mamma called out our cousin's name...
even though she has not died...
she was connected too.
We are all connected through the family genes and shared experiences...
epigenetically imprinted from the ancestors.

I was hobbling in an ankle brace....
but walked without too much difficulty.
mama and S#3 were both very slow...
but they walked most of the time...
despite being slower.
They were determined.
At one point...
after yoga...
S#3 had a gluteal cramp...
she was struggling...
we took a cab back to the car.
I know she felt self-conscious...
but it was OK. We all have limitations.

The best part of the yoga was the sense of togetherness that was established and permeated the weekend. B#1's daughter was so sweet and supportive. I really enjoyed spending time with her. She is quite special.

I came home to a sick husband...
he's miserable.
I am so tired- physically tired...
I need a long week of early to beds...

I still think Papa had a warrior archetype...
I think it my youngest's archetype as well.
Unfortunately Papa fought internal battles and against the other most of his life...
I am hoping that my youngest will transform that energy into activism and passion for good and right.
I am not sure what his successes were...
was he a great husband?
only Mama can answer that question...
were they truly intimate soul-mates?
I find that hard to believe...
but that is from my perspective. I think that both have limited capacity for intimacy.
I know that I have a limited capacity for intimacy...
particularly with males...
it comes with the family history.

I'm going to do a bit of reading and then hit bed really early.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie