waiting

Hi Maggie,

You found time to read Daniel Quinn. The first I read was Ishmael, and it was so thought provoking, I looked for more...

So, let's be blasphemers!

I was sleeping last night, and I started hearing Skype phone call rings and text message alerts.  I sort of grogged awake, and the cat was making small sounds. I called her to me, and that was what she wanted. I am wondering if my brain translated, or if the cat decided to send electronic sounds to get my attention!!

For me, it has been love songs. I have been listening repeatedly to Arlo Guthrie's I Can't Help Falling in Love With You. Of course, it comes with a story.  But I have been singing the song just for me.

I have had the sense of Dad being around lately.  Coming to terms with that, but not quite sure how I am doing or doing it.  But, because I am crazy about family history, Mom sent me all of their letters. It is letters we sent home before the advent of email. The first letter was from Grammy.  I knew her handwriting instantly. I felt her.

But what I have are all of the letters Dad sent Mom while he was in Viet Nam.  I was almost afraid to start reading them.  Reading Grammy's letter was easier, because she used to write to me. It was like stepping into something familiar and comfortable, something warm and mine. But Dad never wrote. Mom did all of the writing, so although I recognize his handwriting, it is not familiar and comfortable.

So reading is not always smooth.  But I have started reading them. He always addresses her as his dearest darling.  He always talks about missing her.

The first letter I opened said, "I am so proud of Clare...." then something about a newspaper clipping. I am guessing it had to do with Girl Scouts. But I was kind of shocked to see my name.

I will keep reading.  If I am blown apart or blown awake, I will report here.

At first I was not getting the updates about B#1's wife. I don't have a cell phone.  So, S#3 has been posting the updates to messenger for me every day. She is so amazing!

What I think is that if they can't get the infection drained, then something, somewhere,  is still infected, something is producing it all. Of course necrotic lung tissue is another challenge.  I am nervous, but because her spirits are improving, I feel more relaxed.

I never thought about the effects of this on their budget.  That's when I remembered B#1 just started this job...

What do you think is happening? Medically, you can probably guess better than I can!

Waiting to hear...

Love and hugs from Clare