Lent

Clare,

Back to normal today...
at least that what it feels like. I had a text from one of our nieces, I asked her how she's doing...
she went back to work today...
she works at the same school her mom, SIL, did...
she felt supported...
her student is out of school with an infection so she didn't have any direct responsibilities.
This niece is a wonderful caregiver.
I am glad that I was able to watch her care for her mom.
In the end, she was the only one awake when SIL died.
All of the others stayed up most of the night, expecting her to die. When the sun rose they all assumed she would hold on until her oldest made it home in 2 days...
so they all napped...
this niece stayed vigilant...
quietly waiting...
and watched her mom take her last, labored breath...
she said that the breaths become progressively more shallow and then they stopped.
She work her father to tell him that SIL was "gone".
This niece was peaceful and settled about the death.
She knew she had done all that she could possibly do to care for her mom...
She also knew that her mom would never be well again...
so it was time to let her go.

I like this niece.
I like her energy.

Anyway, I had to leave work for about an hour today...
I felt it was too chaotic...
the company we shared office space with moved out today.
I am not sure if it was the commotion or if life is just too stressful for me right now.
But, a drive calmed me down.

I feel anxiety well up in me...
very much like the hot flashes that are welling up in me...
more and more each day.
Perhaps that's the reason...
perhaps it is hormonal.

I still feel as if I have to give something up for Lent...
what will it be?
I have to think about this...
I could do a social media 'fast'...
or give up my favorite latte...
or perhaps offer gratitudes every morning and night.
I have a few hours to consider this...
maybe I'll give up my anxious hot flashes!

I hope you sleep well.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie