Happy Birthday

Hi Maggie,

Sounds perfect. Your birthday celebration sounds perfect.  I hope you have amazing breakthroughs, even though I know it is probably going to be painful.

I got hit when you said Mom and Dad didn't care. I got hit again when you said that if Dad knew about the molestation, he may have killed all of us.

I told Mom about my being raped about six years after it happened. She told Dad and asked if he still felt the same about me. What I heard was, was I still good enough to be a Delana, or was I too dirty to be acceptable. I questioned it, shock went through my brain...this happened to me.  Why am I the bad one? How could I possibly be the bad one?  But there is always that Catholic belief that women are temptresses here to draw weak men from the Godly path - and they can't help themselves, they should not have to help themselves...damn, it's too bad we need women to procreate - otherwise we could just finish them all off...which may be the point of some of the fertility research.

And it's something I think whenever I hear about the honor killings in the mid-east.  If a women who has been assaulted by a man is dirty, the source of the filth is the man.  True honor would be castrating the assailant and removing the source of the filth.

How did Dad feel about me?  He should have felt like he was going to avenge me...how dare someone assault his beloved child.  Yeah, in my fantasies!

So your gut feeling might be right.  He might have lashed out and killed someone or more than one.

And that all happened just after he came home from Viet Nam, and he was not very stable that year...

So with your realizations about your youngest, and your statements that the shit is going to hit his fan soon, what are you going to do?  Are you going to make him stand up and take responsibility for his actions?  Or are you going to try to help, and end up saving him?

I think you are going to be in the perfect place this weekend. I wish you softness and absorbability! Enjoy your birthday!  For my birthday, there will be the next wine dinner. Please come.

Happy Birthday My Wonderful Sister!!!

Love and hugs from Clare