Clare,
I love your face…
I love you…
it's all good.
So my youngest's accident resulted in the car being "totaled"…
more that $16,000 in damages…
not a scratch on his body…
the Angels of Protection really were with him that evening.
He wants to take that money and buy a mustang…
he thinks it's a bargain…
and an obvious choice.
He doesn't see the dangers involved in a powerful car with less safety features.
He is going to age me.
Tomorrow is our second home visit by the Children and Youth Services officials…
I feel so scrutinized.
My home is clean and safe…
just move this along thank you.
I have filled out another inch of papers to prove that we are responsible, nice, nonviolent people.
They never ask the kids…
what do you want?
where would you like to live?
I have to be their voice…
I stop meetings if they (the young men) are present and ask their opinions…
no one else seems to consider this a worthy endeavor…
I've been told that's the social worker in me…
but most of the CYS people are social workers too.
I am excited about the extended family. The great grandma has kind, gentle eyes and is very soft spoken. She promised to pull out the family photo albums next time. I am looking forward to that. It was great to see photos of the young men and their siblings…
it was sad to consider they are isolated from most of their siblings though.
The great aunt was reminiscing about their mother…
they learned several things about their mom that they never knew before. It helped a few more pieces of the puzzle fit together. The older complained that no one will tell him his mom's cause of death…he's asked 2 people who should be able to share that with him…but they tell him it was a prolonged illness…nothing else. I asked if he wants me to find out for him…he said no, he'll handle it. When he really wants to know I will help him. But, that will open a whole other set of questions for him.
I'm not a big believer in withholding truth from children (or anyone)…
but the news should be shared when they are ready and want the information.
Otherwise it is too overwhelming for them to hear.
I was so angry when I found out husband was withholding info about my breast cancer from me…
I threatened to take him off my 'contacts list' and not allow the providers to share info with him.
I need a break from this semester…
this morning I was so Bitchy during lab…
I showed up and 5 -6 students were wearing shorts and flip flops…
I sent them out…
either change into appropriate lab clothing or don't get credit for the day…
they were shocked that I was so strong about it…
but we were working with glass and chemicals…
injuries happen.
Anyway I started to present the material for the lab- urinary system…
and no one answered the questions (I exaggerate- 2 people answered the questions) I posed…
I was so frustrated because we took an exam on the same material Friday and most did poorly…
I told them I'm not curving the exam because they should know this basic information.
I think they were shocked…
I think I was shocked at myself…
I just want them to care…
as much as I care...
Anyway…
life is challenging.
it always is.
I'm being pushed from many sides…
but, with a bit of flexibility, I am standing up to all of it.
Say a little prayer for me/us tomorrow.
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