I've missed you

Claire,

I'm back from the south…
it was a very interesting trip.
I met some truly remarkable people. I had some really brilliant moments. I was confused by some of the interactions.

I walked into the hotel lobby on Monday morning to a gathering of the conference participants, most of whom have been gathering for 7 years. It was like a reunion…
but I was not on the outside looking in…
they pulled me right into the fold.
I met people from across the US who care deeply about helping others who are more vulnerable to health inequities. People who nurture strong connections with faith based organizations in order to help those who cannot access health care. It was amazing.
And then I realized all they were focusing on was flu shots.
The others are offering many services, but this program only cares about flu shots.
Is this silo-ing?
Is this creating other, separate, non-collaborative agencies trying to change the world, but not willing to work with other health care professionals to make a difference. When I asked why health care professionals weren't invited to the discussion I was told they offer 'sick care' not health care. There was a lot of rhetoric about respect, but the underlying sentiment was an 'us versus them' mentality. They even turned the tables on the general public and were rallying around mandating flu shots…
what ever happened to free will?
I really lost a sense of awe in the group when I realized their biases.
The other real question I have is, why?
Why invest money and 7 years of work for something as small as flu shots? I think that the CDC is training these groups to respond in the face of some unknown, future pandemic. I think they are spending the money now to be ready in the future. It almost feels dishonest.

I did meet a woman from LA, a buddhist nun, who helps to run a free health center for anyone in LA. The vast majority of her staff is voluntary- including doctors and nurses. She has homeless who volunteer regularly and she said it gives them reason to clean up and develop self-respect. This woman is going to a world-wide meeting next week in Geneva to discuss services for the immigrants moving into Europe and other farther countries. She has already handled some Syrians in LA who fled and made it to the US. She had such a good and pure feeling around her. What an honor to meet someone like her. She told me that I/we can come to LA and volunteer in her clinic this summer if we have time and the inclination to do so. That would be great.

I had 2 people there share very difficult, personal stories with me. I think I must still have the mental health counselor sense about me. I can only hope that listening and sharing with them helps them in some way.

We have our first home visit tomorrow by child and youth services…
they do 3 in all.
I think (hope) that this process will be done by May and the older of the young men will move in permanently.
We are celebrating the younger's birthday this weekend. He wants to go to a big arcade in a nearby town to celebrate. I am excited to have him celebrate with us. The older one helped me in the yard this past weekend. We had a great discussion about his expectations. He told me that he considers husband and I his dad and mom, and our house his home. I told him how much I appreciated that and asked if it is ok to refer to him as my son- he said yes. He said other things though that make me question what he means by 'dad and mom'. I am getting the impression that, at this point, it means caretakers. I don 't think he understands the unconditional love and wanting the best for him.
He was frustrated on our Friday drive home after school because I told him he isn't allowed to go to another kid's house unless we meet the parents and feel it is safe. He said he wants to be able to go anywhere and make his own choices. He finally heard me when I told him I care about him and what happens to him. That allowed him to relax and hear me.
Anyway, things are moving forward.

I've missed you,
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie