someone else's puzzle

Hello Maggie, dear,

I saw the coolest quote today!

"Everyone carries with them at least one piece to someone else's puzzle."
So wrote Lawrence Kushner in his book, *Honey from the Rock.*

Reading it made me feel connected, or at least like I should be connected. It opened my mind and made me feel important - someone needs me.  It made me feel opened - there's someone who needs to tell me something.

Then, somehow, I felt there was synchronicity in what you wrote. We have the insight to share with each other. Maybe I'm pushing too hard.

Unmet needs are, for me, the need for Mom to notice me when I was 3. The need to be breastfed for more than 6 weeks.   There are holes in my psyche that will never be filled properly.  For some, I think we meet those needs by offering what we needed to someone else. I nursed my children for extended periods. That was conscious. I was trying to be different, to be better.  Unfortunately the unconscious crap erupted and spoiled what I wanted to create...at least tarnished it.

I know a young woman, she has been mentioned here. She was sexually abused as a young child in two separate ongoing incidences.  She has an entirely unmet need to be protected...to be of enough value to her parents and step-parents to be protected and noticed. Some of her life is under control.  But other parts are chaotic, because of this unmet need.

How do we fix it?

So, how do we recover?

Your comment about recognizing the other's humanity, reminds of a comment you made a long time ago, here, about circling around issues over and over, but seeing from a different perspective.  I think that does help us understand. But the logic wars with the emotional  and the emotional is submerged into seclusion.

S#3 knows everyone. She cares about everyone.  She mothers our niece's beat friend  sometimes.  She simply is willing to love anyone who needs her. She told me once that you were the keeper of her secrets. So you are there for her.  If I want to know what is going on with the sisters, I ask S#3. She knows!  If I want to know about the brothers, I guess I ask Mom!

I have a baby snuggled up next to me.  It's time for me to collapse into slumber!

Love and hugs from Clare