Seeing patterns

 Hey Maggie,

 I hope all is well.  I have a feeling I'll be posting a lot
 when I get home.  But I'll try to check in here as much as
 I can...

 How are things?

 The interesting thing about traveling by bus is that we end
 up strange places at strange times...I was in Portland at
 about 5:30 in the morning discussing Dante's Inferno with a
 fellow traveler and a security guard.  I found out fore
 the first time that there is a special place in hell for
 those who do nothing...those who see a problem and don't
 help. those who know something is wrong and don't step in.

 Then on Saturday night we were sitting on the back porch at
 about 11:30 pm, watching for meteors and talking.  My
 daughter-in-law noted that in the future, people will look
 back at this time and wonder why we didn't do anything.

 I have been thinking a lot about this...about finding
 strength or courage or maybe it is the loss of self
 awareness, and compassionately stepping into someone else's
 awareness,

 I am glad that your older son has chosen to look for a new
 school.  I think that shows a remarkable awareness of
 where he is.

 I see the pattern you have described in my family.  And
 it is compounded by the fact that my in-laws played
 favorites, making each of their children feel less than the
 other.  They played me against my
 daughter-in-law.  We never got close.  My ex plays
 the kids against each other.  It changes, he doesn't
 always have his faction.  Then I wonder how I play into
 it.

 I will think about this, both in family of origin, and with
 my kids now...

 Love and hugs,

 Clare