Feeling Fine

Clare,

You write about connection…
I think that's becoming more apparently important to me…
connection with each other…
connection to the earth…
connection with ourself.

It is strange how the connection between my older son has strengthened despite him being so far away. But we've written to each other. I think that writing is one of the best ways to be open with someone. You have time to consider your words…
they have time to read and re-read them.
It is a gift.

Last night husband, and a group of friends that we have through my younger daughter went to see her in a play. It was a great night. The show was face paced and funny. She was amazing, as were the other 3 actors. After the show she cried because of the people who came out to see her. She is really developing into an actress and a woman. The first scene, she is sitting in a theater box, with a black wig and a low cut black evening gown- my friend didn't know it was her until after the scene. We laughed about that.

Both daughters began their final years of college this past week. It is bittersweet…
they really are growing up.
The older is already planning on applying for Masters programs.
The younger wants to join a touring group or intern (paid, I hope) for a theater.
They both have direction and goals.
It's great to watch them develop and mature.

I think that's the missing piece for my son right now…
he lost direction and didn't create goals.
He wrote that he had given up on himself a long time ago.
But, that has changed in the desert.
A lot has changed in the desert.

My youngest is also away…
he asked to go to boarding school to escape the influences that affected his brother …
and that he was beginning to get pulled into.
He is at the Mennonite school- doing well.
But he has difficult transitions between the two worlds. I am hoping that he lets go of some of his friends here- the negative influences. But, for now he is struggling to maintain all contacts.

I am feeling very well- for the most part. Each week I get more fluid in my expanders and then for several days I feel as if I am in a vice- kind of like perpetual mammogram compression. Yesterday I had pectoral and shoulder pain after I walked…so I took a valium…my prescribed muscle relaxant. I fell asleep half an hour later. The Tamoxifen hasn't affected me too much except that it kills my appetite…and the things I crave when I am hungry are sugars and fats. I feel really good mentally and physically. I am walking, practicing gratitude, and seeing people I love…it's all good.

Next week we are going back to Sedona- to experience the vortices again. I found a map this time, so we should be more efficient at finding them. I also love the feel of that town. People just stop and talk. It's friendly, so it doesn't seem touristy. I will not be checking in here from Tuesday - Saturday next week…but them I'll be back

I hope that you have a wonderful day. I am grateful for you and our writing.
Love and Light,
Maggie