ride the wave

Hi Mags,

I am not surprised that you are nesting. In an important way, you are birthing. You are birthing a new family...bringing in a new child.

I wonder if the bio-dad was just sort of talking out loud.  He probably feels a lot of guilt about abandoning families, and worries about his sons...not enough to do anything, but enough to sit around and worry.  Now that the older is about to land in a very safe place, he can stop worrying about him.  Now he can focus his worry on the younger one, as well as the other family he abandoned...maybe.

Not very aware, not especially kind. But probably not as much of a rejection as your son feels it is. Because I know your son has to be feeling the pain of rejection and not being wanted. It may be their family pattern.  And now you are breaking it by saying, I want you, then following through.

We need the same kind of interaction in our family. We need to be included with people who don't sexually abuse.  We all need to help each other break the family chains that pollute our psyche...

This whole process has been about trust for you, I think. And it is like birthing.  We can't have a natural, unassisted, powerful birth without surrendering, and admitting we are not in charge.  Then you ride the waves...Through it all, we do know there will be something absolutely new. And when we land safe on the other side, it is beautiful...

Planting and mowing here.  Someone pulled some of my cabbages out. And someone else chewed my chamomile plant.  I am suspicious of an innocent appearing chipmunk .  And I had a face-off with a milk snake...life in the country!!!

We need rain!

Love and hugs from Clare