debriefing

Hi Maggie,

I'm so glad the shoes can be exchanged. I'm wearing those babies. I intend to glitter my way through life.  (This is the problem with going barefoot. My feet are very wide.)  When my granddaughter becomes uncooperative in public I do silly walks.  It changes her attitude immediately. She imitates me and giggles a lot. This little spectacle will be spectacular in those shoes! 

I am sorry you missed the reunion with your godson, but it was perfect. What you actually gave me was a perfect birthday. That evening, although it was completely unplanned, I had my five children together, under one roof.  It was amazing. It was perfect.

If I had seen him for the first time at the park, I would not have had the freedom to have had that release.  I didn't sob, I SOBBED.  There was nothing half-hearted or timid about my tears or my gasps.  I think when we are separated from those we truly love, it causes a psychic ache. And when we are reunited, we can acknowledge the pain of separation. I cried again as he drove away...

The funny thing I noticed about the party was that there were no Quakers there. That whole part of my life was sort of skipped over by my kids. 

But everything was perfect.

As I was walking toward the crowd, beginning to realize everyone was watching me, waiting for me, I did start to panic. But my inner-Mama reminded me to calm down, stay centered, accept.  I did it. It was hard to hear a few people tell me how wonderful I am, but somehow inner-Mama kept me still and centered as I listened...

Maybe I'm growing up.

There were a lot of really nice comments about your foster son. He was so composed and forthright and unafraid to speak up.  It is easy to see why you care about him so much. He is definitely a special soul.

I have a big Quaker gathering this weekend.  I am struggling a bit with the Papa Delana feelings you described...the exact same thing you shared...Am I getting sick?  Who is going to take the dogs...Between Nephew and youngest's boyfriend - the dogs are covered.  So I am going.  I almost always go...It always has calm, centered moments, and then those moments where I feel on the outside.

OK, so tomorrow I will tell you about a dream I had, and ask you what some of the symbolism might mean...

Love and hugs from Clare