no time or space right now

Clare,

I finished reading a book called Building the Bonds of Attachment by Dan Hughes. It told the story of a neglected, abused little girl and what it took to allow her to trust again.
I see a lot of similar behaviors in my young men…
I see a lot of similar behaviors in myself and our siblings.
Children need to attach to a caregiver, otherwise the are filled with shame and never trust themselves or others. It worries me that I may not have the skills to bring these young men into adulthood…
but they aren't going to learn it in an ultra-structured group home that turns them out at 18 either.
I fear what would happen to them with no real family or positive social skills…
probably jail because it's another structured setting…
or the military for its structure which would leave them further traumatized and/or dead.
I will do the best I can- under the circumstances.
Hold us in the Light.

The staff at the group home are anticipating a big change in the younger man. He acts out in anger a lot. He shifts blame to the older brother regularly. He isolates when he is mad or senses shame. They are hoping he will become more accountable, more open to learning. He cannot work on his issues if he fails to recognize them. He will certainly react to his brother's moving out though.

I am hoping to find a way to bond with him. He isolates himself here much of the time. I have to enforce a time limit for electronics a interact with him at other times. He likes to hike and do art…that's a start.

I am quite frustrated with my youngest. The closer we get to move in day- the more obstinate his behavior becomes. He is pushing every button that generally raises my anger. I am trying to calmly discipline him…he just keeps pushing.

I haven't had peace of mind to scan anyone since the class. I am putting my interests last-again. I just don't have the space to breath right now. I am hoping that once school is out for the summer I won't have to be the wake up bell…and worse. I hope my schedule relaxes a bit.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie