compassion and empathy

Clare,

I dreamed that my oldest grandson was here.I walked in the bathroom and an old friend of my ex's was in the  bathroom also with a towel wrapped around his waist.  I asked him if he had molested my grandson and he said yes. I shoved him into the water, he was pushed up into the corner of the tub. I stepped insode the tub and I was furious, and I tried to kick him. I kept trying to kick him and he was passively awaiting a beating. But I couldn't move my foot through the water.

What a dream…
I'm sorry …
it sounds traumatic.

I'll share my impressions from reading it.
First- congratulations you found voice to confront violence and molestation…
you spoke the words out loud.

You allowed your grandson to see you defend him…
a huge piece for maintaining trust and a sense of worth.

You not only pushed this figure away, you got into the water and were "bigger" than he was. You were not intimidated, isolated, and fear motivated you, rather than paralyzing you.

You see this perpetrator as passively awaiting a beating…
perhaps as they had reacted when they were violated as a child…
but you were not able to follow through…
you did not violate despite wanting to hurt this figure.

The water is a deep image…
I think of it as cleansing…
but in this case it seems to have slowed down your movement allowing you space to respond, rather than react…
compassion - perhaps empathy- took over.

I wonder what you would have done next.
I imagine this male figure transforming into some animal figure…
something you love- like a dog…
and you finding a way to work through the traumatic events with compassion and empathy.

I went to a hypnotist on Wednesday. It was awful. Husband found this practitioner and asked me to accompany him. I realized about a week ago that I too had an appointment. I didn't know what to ask her to change through hypnosis. I thought about binge eating, anger, body image…so many points of improvement possible in my life.
I spoke to her for about an hour…
she was very intrusive…
accusing me of being demanding and spoiled…
she told me to examine my expectations of husband as well as family…
and to get some friends…
she was so confusing.

She told me she couldn't help me with hypnosis.

I left there feeling exhausted and confused. I felt 'slimed' energetically.
I slept on the drive back…
and a lot that evening and night.
I woke up feeling nauseated and 'slimy'.
I ended up calling my reiki healer and asked her to clean me up. She told me that there was a lot of negative energy around my 1st and 4th chakras…
but that my energy field was able to keep it outside of me body.
The difference between before and after session was amazing.
What a strange experience.

So I am left to process this and find some wisdom from the experience.
It brings up a lot of self-doubt and self-examination (the Catholic type of self-examination).
I did come to realize that I expect husband to make up for the sins of our family of origin…
for that insight I am grateful.

I love the tapping sparrow.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie