no pizza

Hi Maggie,

I'm with you.  There is more kindness, and evil is the anomaly.  But the evil is what is pushed into our faces.  I'm with your son - let's find a quiet place to escape...

I read something once that talked about the violation of abuse forcing us out of our bodies.  I wonder how many of us are just hanging around, but not really in  our bodies.  I have been healing these past few years, and I'm more in my body than ever before, but I am definitely not home most of the time!

I also remember your healer talking about my pattern of sitting to the side, watching, analyzing, thinking. It's kind of who I am, I suppose.

But the dream, then thinking about being a visitor sort of pushed the whole idea in my face, and made me think a little more about who I am and who I want to be.  And what will the rest of my life be like if I don't become who I want to be.

S#3is tired, and a little overwhelmed with kids she never chose to have.  The idea was to get her up here alone, but her daughter has to work on Saturday and so the girls will go to their father and his mother.  Her son can't go there, because the girls' father is especially abusive to him.  He has returned traumatized every time.  And so he will probably come here.

We all agree the boy has to be protected, and his safety is paramount. But I will admit I am disappointed. Even if just for the stupid little reason that I don't want to hear anyone complaining about my food, and I know that will not happen.

Then I either feel resentful or I feel like I have to make something to suit everyone.

Which bugs me because I have the best time thinking of menus, considering how courses and flavors are going to build on each other.  And none of my dishes include pizza, wings, or any crap from McD!

But we'll expect the best and see what happens.

I have been working evenings as well as my usual hours, and find I'm not getting anything else done...and I'm just getting tired.

Oh well...It won't last forever.

Love and hugs from Clare