Dual nature? Where is the trinity?

I love that musing... We are both particle and wave, depending upon when and how we are seen.

We have a multifaceted nature, which we fail to clearly and fully comprehend.
We are simultaneously particle/separate and wave/collective consciousness...we have to be both while we are incarnated...unless we are experiencing a contemplative moment when we fully connect to the collective...as in a gathered Meeting.

I can honestly remember only being aware/conscious of that gathered-ness in the 6 years that I have been attending Quaker Meetings. I did have similar experiences during a few Masses/special prayer services when I was a practicing Catholic...particularly when I was singing...sometimes I would open to the point that the spirit sang through me...one evening a woman recognized that this happened and spoke to me about it after...it was exhilarating and frightening at the same time.

So if we are dual natured we can cultivate either, or both, condition in our life. I see an imbalance towards particle/separateness but this can be shifted consciously towards more wave-like activity. It is all a matter of awareness and mindfulness. I am reading Buddha's Brain by Hanson, PhD and Mendius, MD right now. It deals with mindfulness training and how to practically re-circuit our brains to minimize the dwelling upon the negative memories and incessant monologues that run within our brains keeping us mired in negative memories and experiences. I have been attempting to work through some of their suggestions and so far I have found it very challenging to recognize when I begin to slip into one of those "tapes" that replays how someone has hurt me in the past, which only reinforces the negativity and increases the expectation of threat from future encounters. I find myself replaying my perceived ostracizing from our family of origin, which is occurring more frequently as the birthday party approaches. I spent a lot of energy today recognizing and aborting that tape as soon as I recognized that it had begun again. I am shocked how often I reinforce that negative concept within my own head...while externally it seems that I don't care about it at all. It is amazing what the ego does...hijacking my thought processes. I am definitely a work in progress.

So today I was told that I am a 'blessing and a curse' by an old friend...and I totally agree with him. I made the comment about myself and he agreed. I can be very hard to be around because I demand a lot of the people around me but even more from myself. It is part of my dual nature.

I am left to wonder if there is another state of Light...remember the trinity?
This dual nature seems incomplete...
perhaps there is an intermediary form that would allow for the trinity...
as in physical elements there is gas, liquid, solid...
Light is particle, ????, wave.
What would be the intermediary form? A question to ponder...
I will leave you to go and wonder about this.
Until tomorrow,
Love and Light,
Maggie