the children...?

Hi Maggie,

I love your Christmas cards.  I look forward to seeing them every year.  I stopped sending cards a few years ago, because I just couldn't afford it any more.  I miss them.  I miss sending them, I miss getting lots in the mail.  But, that's life.

I am sure you passed the child services test.  I had to go through that when my daughter's friend sought refuge here with her two young sons.  I was fairly angry.  The women who visited to check me out sensed that, I think, and was apologetic and did a lot of explaining.

It shocked me that she asked if there was formula.  The mother showed her a can, and the social worker made her open it and prove there was powdered formula there.  I wondered why she had to do that. It just freaked me out a little. Then she needed to make sure we had good food in the house. The mama had brought hot dogs with her.  I do not consider hot dog to be food (I always told my kids there were substances we could eat, but they weren't really food.  A hot dog is number one on that list...followed closely by Jello!)  The social worker marked down that we had protein.

I really felt violated.  First, they had to approve me - after the mama and one of the boys had been beaten and came to me for sanctuary. Then the standards were so low. Paradoxical, I know. And a bit unreasonable.  But I think this invasion, this general assumption that we are liars that the government approaches us with, always insults me.

The ancestor idea is interesting.  The article said that when the people do their ceremonies, they have no idea which ancestor will appear - just remember there are lots.  So I was a bit surprised, but then not so much as I remembered Anna was in a dream I had within the last year.

I have been wiped out lately, and so I haven't done any more middle of the night work.

I talked to someone today about the attacks in France. He said the most difficult thing, besides the general feel of fear and anxiety, is - what do we tell our children?  How do you explain this in a way that makes sense?  In a way that keeps children from living in fear?

We talked about making sure that they know not all Muslims are to be feared.  We talked about why the people who did this must have a problem, they can't  think clearly. 

But then a friend wisely pointed out that even though the French are not used to having strangers attack strangers for no comprehensible reason, the people of the Mid-East are used to it.  They have had lifetimes of attacks simply for the people they are born to.

I am   grateful for social media. It is there that I see the truth - I see French, Muslim, British...all making great gestures of peace and reconciliation.  These strong people, I respect them. I am grateful for them.

Hope all is well with you this November evening...

Love and hugs from Clare