Cannot sleep

Clare,

Would you resend that link…
it won't open as you sent it.
I get a blank page of our blog when I cut and paste it into the browser.
Thanks.

It's 1:30 am…
I haven't been able to sleep yet. I have been laying in my bed…
resting, but unable to fall asleep.
I heard my youngest go down for a snack and got up to see if he was ok…
I got a smell of pot…
again…
and asked him why.
He shifts the blame onto me…
"you're neurotic"…
"you're too inflexible to accommodate my habits".
This is the second time this week…
he's already grounded…
I just cannot get through to him.

Now I really cannot sleep.
I am torn.
I know it's not really addictive.
I understand it is relatively safe.
But…
it is illegal.
I don't know how to instill respect into him.

The truth of the matter is that I was up at 1 am because I was worried about me. I have an area on my chest wall that is red, tender and raised. It is the site where my drainage tube exited. I am worried about recurrence of my tumor. It is not unusual for them to occur at the incision site- cutaneous metastasis.
I don't let myself think about it too much, but tonight I was thinking about it.
I have an appointment with my oncologist in 2 weeks, then I'll get answers.
I let my fear take hold of my brain and it pushes logic and reason to the side.

Anyway, that's my chaotic brain at 1:30 am today.
I love you.
Thanks, as always, for listening.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie