joy lingers

Hi Maggie,

I remember your collection of Santas. I also remember your Nutcrackers. I hope you are still savoring your Thanksgiving.

S#3 came, crafted, and got home safely.  We made lots and lots of crafts. When they come, we fill the house with noise and chaos. When they first leave, it's like this serenity descends.My whole body, my whole mind take a deep breath and truly relax.  It's wonderful.  But then I notice the joy lingers.

I felt that after Thanksgiving. Everyone went home, but the laughter saturated the walls, and joy was still there. And when S#3 left, I felt it again.  I laughed a lot because we have glitter everywhere.  I changed my youngest granddaughter's diaper this morning, and she had sparkly butt cheeks. There is a mark on my dining room table, and another on the floor, each eternally glittering. And I like them. They are like scars - and maybe we are warriors of joy!!

I am so glad that your young friend and his brother enjoyed themselves, and felt comfortable with you.  I always come back to the thought that even if he doesn't end up being your foster child, he knows you wanted him. Just knowing someone in this world  wants us gives us resilience.

I am a little worried about S#3. She is tired.  She does so much for work, and then for taking her  household and her grandchildren.  No one seems to realize how much, or that she needs some down time. They all just expect Nana-as-usual every single day. And she provides the love and support every single day.  I was trying to cajole her into coming for a big-girl weekend. She hmmed and hawed - sounded just like me much of the time!!

I have the potential of having just my grandson with me next weekend. I never seem to get one-on-one time with him. The rare occasion it happens, we laugh a lot.  And I want that, I want that memory for both of us. I want to be a strong loving presence in his life, and a memory that provides strength after I am gone...

My house is a mess. Oh well, I did some dishes, some sweeping up, but mo


stly I am going to relax, watch a movie and knit.

Hope you are having a nice Sunday afternoon at your house..

Love and hugs from Clare