scattered

Clare,
I'm sorry…
I'm scattered.
I had it all together until I did that breast cancer talk and I've been scattered ever since.
Tonight I went to a RE Meeting…
I resigned from the committee and teaching.
It felt good to admit it is incredibly stressful to continue to teach.
I know people were upset with me…
not enough teachers and one is dropping out…
but I am overwhelmed and feel unheard, unappreciated, and burnt out.
I hope I'm not overcome by guilt tomorrow.

The breastfeeding/sexual abuse thing is just creepy…
Is the baby a male?
Does that make it abusive?
Would it be different if it was a daughter?
I cannot wrap my head around that comment or notion.

I have been asked to teach a physiology course in the spring…
I've never taught that course before.
I'm teaching a familiar course already…
do I have it in me to teach a brand new course?
I've also been invited to serve on an advisory committee for the school that I earned my Master's from…
do I have the energy to so that work?
Where do we draw the line…
opportunity…
or burden?
I'm not good with "no"…

Lots to think about.
I'm sorry I'm so scattered these days.
Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie