moving…with direction?

Clare,

I hope you are enjoying your West Coast time.

I had an interesting week…
mostly being blown away by the beautiful resilience of people.
The stories I hear and the courage I observe are inspiring.
I have met many women with stories more heartbreaking than my own…
and watch them struggle as they enter their own swamp…
in hope of PEACE.

I met with my young man friend…
he has had 3 weeks to consider his way forward…
and is still quite torn.
He told me that he doesn't like change.
He told me that he wants to wait for a while to see if his father and girlfriend move out of the grandparents home to make space for him and his brother. Dad is supposedly saving money to make this happen.
But after more discussion he asked what I/we could give him at our home. I told him that we cannot replace his family, but could allow him to continue to connect with his family to build relationship. I told him we could provide a safe and stable home for him to grow. I told him that he would be valued.
I stopped short of telling him he is and would be loved.
Saying that breaks a professional boundary.

He thought for a while…
and said he would like to explore living with us.
I had to explain that once he visits my home, I cannot be his therapist anymore.
I can be therapist OR Mom…
not both.
I encouraged him to continue to explore the family/grandparent option…
if, at any time, he wants to commit to another option I will be here.

I hope that was the right advice.
Part of me is ruminating over it.
Am I setting him up for another big disappointment?
What direction are we moving her?
Part of me is kicking myself for not diving on that opportunity…
it's what I want…
and what I think he needs.
But is it really what he needs?
Is it his best option?

I did tell him that I've talked with friends and family about this decision. I told him that I am afraid of messing up…making his life worse…but that we both need courage. This vulnerability stuff is tough.

Send some Light…
I could use help in this process.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie