My thoughts...they are rapid and scattered.
I feel such incredible compassion for you and your trauma(s).
I feel angry that you feel (felt) as if you deserved or asked to be violently attacked.
I feel sadness and rage that this happens too often.
I am grateful that you have the courage to write about it.
One in 3 girls and 1 in 6 boys are sexually abused by the time they are 18...that's an epidemic.
The subject is taboo and so we can't talk about it, acknowlege it in polite company.
That makes me furious.
I want to speak out...I am afraid...but I refuse to let fear silence me.
Before I speak out though I need to find my voice. I need to recover the pieces of my soul that I left behind before I was 10 years old, when I was being molested. I was advised to go back to our family homes and look for the beauty there. Replace the negative with positive...recover the pieces that I left there. I want to do that. I need to do that.
I am so saddened by the silence from the remainder of our family. I am losing hope that we can recover from this as a whole. I am beginning to see the reality of healing individually.
I do long for at least one of our parents to just simply say...you didn't deserve to be treated like garbage...you didn't do anything wrong...you are worthy. Is that asking too much?
Maggie
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