trial

Claire,

Strange dreams...
but you are protecting the youngest, most vulnerable...
that is good.

The meeting went well. He validated my interpersonal conflicts with my co-worker...
Me Too moment.
But I still have to deal with the stress regularly. I did request a lap top to be able to work remotely. I need to be in my home space more than I've been this year. It's confusing how much I like and admire this co-worker, but how frustrating I find interactions with her.
She is 15 years older than I am...
I feel as if I will be a perpetual child...
never be allowed to mature...
But- I am mature.
I am confident.
I am competent.
I just have a different approach and manner.

Sometimes I want to quit and stay home, read, walk, garden, and cook.
So much for being a change-maker, feminist, trendsetter.
Do you ever wonder if your education was a waste?
That thought keeps me working...
It all means something and can certainly help others.

I went to a program on Moral Injury last Thursday...
the discussion was about veterans and their mental health issues after returning from deployment. The author and producers feel that the issue isn't PTSD, but moral injury. Witnessing, not helping, performing acts that go against your soul's moral compass, against your deepest sense of right and wrong...
that's the struggle to re-enter the real world...
And how difficult it is to cope with the memories of what you did, or failed to do.
It feels right...
more right than PTSD.

I am exhausted...
too tired to remember my dreams.
I hate being this tired.
I started a trial of CBD oil...
30 days to see if it helps my mood, my foot pain, what ever...
I will let you know.

Love and Light beautiful sister,
Maggie