cactus days

Hey Maggs...

So when my friend was here, we were talking about people, about relationships. He suddenly asked why I see everything as violent. I described most failed relationships as involving some sort of violence. So he wanted to know what the sort was...emotional, physical, psychological.

But I did wonder if I identify and/or define everything as violence.  Or is it that I am sensitive to violence, and people let me see into their lives...people are willing to show the violence that permeates...us.

Then I wondered if I am just too prickly.

I feel like a cactus...all soft and fluid on the inside, but it takes a lot of hard work to get there.  I'm all tough and covered with spines.

And I thought about the reading from your healer.  In evey lifetime I sit aside and analyze...

Which led me to...am I even loveable?

So that is where I am today. A sort of twaddling mess of I didn't sleep, although I fought to sleep...exhaustion questioning the merits of myself.

But I did plan the book...I need time, but I know what to write.

Love and hugs from Clare