authenticity - joy - sorrow - shame...

Hi Maggie,

I didn't ditch and run.  I looked at those words quizzically, and walked away.  And perhaps that is the lesson.  It is better to be alone than to be in a bad relationship.

I think I passed that test!

The weekend was interesting.  I was tired, which affected my ability to think.  But we did an Experiment With Light on Friday night.  I felt like I was in the fog, fighting for answers, fighting for clarity.  I got a definite message.  "You know that thing you are afraid to do?  Well, you have to do it. There is a next step..."  I wondered about the next step, but no, that is not for now.

The next day was a lot of worship sharing, and so a lot of time was spent deep.  But instead of deep and clear, it was deep, and like I needed a shovel to get through.

So I approached this weekend wondering who my authentic self is.  I was thinking about moments of   bring truly who I am.

And someone quoted Joseph Campbell, I believe.  "All we need is sacred space, sacred time, and something joyous to do."

So joy.  Moments of joy are moments when I am authentic.

I said something to a committee member and she posed the query...Authenticity and joy.  And so someone else spoke about sorrow.

And I was back at that moment when I got word our sister-in-law had died.  And I keened. I never knew I could make a sound like that.  That was an absolutely authentic moment.  And it was rooted in sorrow.

I was in my mind trying to define joy. I couldn't.  I couldn't define sorrow very well either.  I got lost in that process of trying to define emotions.  And then I hit that place where I knew that the heart is the seat of emotions, and this all has something to do with evolving into the heart chakra.

Then someone else spoke, and brought out the idea of shame.  I knew I had to listen to Brene yet again...

So - authenticity - joy - sorrow - shame. I could not speak. I was lost in it all.

I think this was a searching weekend.  I think we were churning throiugh something new.  Clarity will come as long as we are faithful.

Similar to what you are planning...we are going to have a visioning session, with the new regional clerk - we are going to worshipfully see if we can get a sense of where the region is going.

I like your new idea. I have noticed that humans like novelty, but we really don't like change.

So, home, thinking, waiting for guests...and sending love


Love and hugs from Clare