I'm back. We're back. We're all safe and sound. I got home last night with our nephew. He was going to pick up some applications here and head home. Instead we got a snow storm. It has been snowing since about 9:30 this morning. Our nephew was going to try to beat the storm, but slid at the bottom of our hill, and so he came back and will wait out the storm with me. Now we're at 8 or 9 inches, the temp is dropping and the wind is going to blow all night long.
My youngest is in Florida with her baby.
The beach was wonderful. Thank you so much for your gracious, flowing generosity. You make generosity look simple. The house was comfortable and easy to be in. The island is healing.
And the dolphins. They brought such emotion. I didn't realize I believed we had killed or imprisoned them all.
The island was good sister time. We were able to talk and sing and listen and be available for each other. We were able to walk and bask. Igot some color on my pasty-northern winter-weary face. We were not able to find an alligator or pirate ghosts - but it was fun looking. And belly-laughing Ping-Pong...I needed to laugh.
What a gift it was...thank you so much for thinking of it, and for making it possible.
One amazing moment was our joined voices, singing Dona Nobis Pacem to the ocean. I felt joined. I felt joined -with everything.
I haven't had time off like that for years. It was such a gift. I felt so old and tired when we arrived. By the second day, though, I started to see me...a little. I thought about abundance and adventure. The ocean is a source of abundance and instructed me a little, I think.
The other gift my sister gave was a joint session with the oft-mentioned Reiki healer. We weren't sure what we wanted, but somehow we ended up with a joint read about our connections through time and through different lifetimes. For all three of us.
I am analytical, and apparently I have always been analytical. I shed a few tears while alone, partly from relief - this is who I am and who I am supposed to be. But partly from loneliness. I often have the feeling that I don't quite belong. And it's kind of true, but not exactly...it's partly from our upbringing, but also a facet of what I am.
The strongest thing I walked away with, though, was her answer to the questions - Why are we here?
Forgiveness.
S#3 asked, "For ourselves or for others."
"For yourself first."
That is so difficult. I didn't sleep well last night. I was wound up from all of our adventures, I think. And so I tried to consider forgiveness. Forgiving myself. I started listing things I need to forgive myself for. There are lots of things.
When you see your friend again, please tell her I said thank you - for the gifts, both physical and spiritual. And thank you for your generosity, for sharing this part of your life with us.
Exhausted, full of love and gratitude...
Clare
Wednesday, March 12, 2014
Wednesday, March 5, 2014
Quick check-in
When I read about your latest with your youngest, the first thought - what a perfect moment for logical consequences. He can spend $300 of his own money buying food and gas for his friends, but he can't spend yours. So he has to pay you back or ask his friends to pay you back. Logical. I am glad you had time for your Reiki healer. A session always seems to ground you, to center you.
I have been thinking about the trouble mine got into at that age. It wasn't fun.
My ornithologist friend also pointed out that vibrations from the windmills are disrupting underground critters like worms and moles. We lived without electricity for about a decade. It was a wonderful way to live, closer, more connected to nature and to the cycles of the month and the year. We get off the grid by giving up what we consider necessities, and most of our luxuries.
I am not packed for this weekend. In fact I am struggling with a frozen pipe and don't have water. If my heater doesn't free it up tonight, I will have to call the landlord and have her call a plumber. Life could be easier, you know.
I am up late tonight. I had lots of divine interruptions today...a few hours playing with the baby, a few precious hours on the phone with my daughter-in-law, and so I finished work very late. And it's an early morning tomorrow. I may have a chance to check in here, or - more likely, I'll see your lovely, smiling face. I am bringing my computer, since I'll be working from S#3's on Tuesday before I head home - so maybe we can meet here...
Soon - Love and hugs!!
Clare
I have been thinking about the trouble mine got into at that age. It wasn't fun.
My ornithologist friend also pointed out that vibrations from the windmills are disrupting underground critters like worms and moles. We lived without electricity for about a decade. It was a wonderful way to live, closer, more connected to nature and to the cycles of the month and the year. We get off the grid by giving up what we consider necessities, and most of our luxuries.
I am not packed for this weekend. In fact I am struggling with a frozen pipe and don't have water. If my heater doesn't free it up tonight, I will have to call the landlord and have her call a plumber. Life could be easier, you know.
I am up late tonight. I had lots of divine interruptions today...a few hours playing with the baby, a few precious hours on the phone with my daughter-in-law, and so I finished work very late. And it's an early morning tomorrow. I may have a chance to check in here, or - more likely, I'll see your lovely, smiling face. I am bringing my computer, since I'll be working from S#3's on Tuesday before I head home - so maybe we can meet here...
Soon - Love and hugs!!
Clare
Differentiated…Pleuripotent…Totipotent
Clare,
I had a visit with my Reiki healer today…
I got a lot of good insight…
I feel more centered and have a better perspective.
I just struggle so much with teenaged boys- funny how history repeats itself…
Oh well, the lessons are there for me to learn…
I just have to be open to learning them.
I am really excited for this weekend.
It will be good to sit and share time with you and S#3.
I am anticipating a great time…relaxed…just hanging together.
I woke this morning feeling a little "viral"…
but I refuse to give into it…
I will be healthy, I will be healthy, I will be healthy.
Tuesday, in class, we were talking about stem cells…
I mentioned there are different types- totipotent and pleuripotent…
Then I went off on a tangent about Toto in the Wizard of Oz…
how the dog was her "everything"…
How she journeyed to find her brain, heart and courage and then could return home complete.
They were so into it…I really love teaching this group.
Anyway…
maybe we are moving from a fully differentiated cell state- individual, unique, independent…
into a more pleuripotent state- interactive, formative, open to respond to signals…
and ultimately into a totipotent state- one that has the potential to become anything we will to become- one that is only limited by our own imagination and energy.
I like that thought.
For tonight, I wish you Love and Light,
Maggie
I had a visit with my Reiki healer today…
I got a lot of good insight…
I feel more centered and have a better perspective.
I just struggle so much with teenaged boys- funny how history repeats itself…
Oh well, the lessons are there for me to learn…
I just have to be open to learning them.
I am really excited for this weekend.
It will be good to sit and share time with you and S#3.
I am anticipating a great time…relaxed…just hanging together.
I woke this morning feeling a little "viral"…
but I refuse to give into it…
I will be healthy, I will be healthy, I will be healthy.
Tuesday, in class, we were talking about stem cells…
I mentioned there are different types- totipotent and pleuripotent…
Then I went off on a tangent about Toto in the Wizard of Oz…
how the dog was her "everything"…
How she journeyed to find her brain, heart and courage and then could return home complete.
They were so into it…I really love teaching this group.
Anyway…
maybe we are moving from a fully differentiated cell state- individual, unique, independent…
into a more pleuripotent state- interactive, formative, open to respond to signals…
and ultimately into a totipotent state- one that has the potential to become anything we will to become- one that is only limited by our own imagination and energy.
I like that thought.
For tonight, I wish you Love and Light,
Maggie
Tuesday, March 4, 2014
sheep
Sorry for my brief absence…
I am once again having issues with my son…
this time it is the youngest one.
Saturday night he was not where he was supposed to be…he got picked up by an older girl and they went to her house to get high…
then on Sunday I found a burnt joint in his coat pocket…
and while we were discussing it husband found a credit card bill for over $300 for a card that I rarely use…turns out he took it and bought food, gas, etc for older friends after school…probably in exchange for cigarettes and/or pot…
I just walked into the bathroom while he was showering because it smelled of smoke…not sure if it was cigarette or pot…it doesn't really matter…both are bad for him…what the heck am I going to do with this kid? And his brother who comes home almost everyday smelling of smoke? I don't know how to stop this…it's out of control at this point.
I think that you are on to something…that our environmental issues are about wanting more and more electricity…and convenience…we are getting so lazy that we don;t even care that we are heading for extinction.
So, how do we get off the grid?
What does that kind of life look like?
I had never considered bird migration…or fish spawning (actually I have heard about fish ladders and hydroelectric plants)…or toxic solar panels….
we really have lost touch with our interconnectedness.
What a strange perspective, watching the world spin out of control. Occasional reports of disasters that make us afraid.
I saw the Facebook post about protestors in DC against the XL pipeline and the media blackout for it…I got comments about how stupid it is to protest this…but no one mentioned the lack of media coverage…we are being controlled…and we are sheep. I read a legislative press release about several crude oil spills in PA recently…I haven't heard about them in any of the press.
We are sheep.
Love and Light,
Maggie
I am once again having issues with my son…
this time it is the youngest one.
Saturday night he was not where he was supposed to be…he got picked up by an older girl and they went to her house to get high…
then on Sunday I found a burnt joint in his coat pocket…
and while we were discussing it husband found a credit card bill for over $300 for a card that I rarely use…turns out he took it and bought food, gas, etc for older friends after school…probably in exchange for cigarettes and/or pot…
I just walked into the bathroom while he was showering because it smelled of smoke…not sure if it was cigarette or pot…it doesn't really matter…both are bad for him…what the heck am I going to do with this kid? And his brother who comes home almost everyday smelling of smoke? I don't know how to stop this…it's out of control at this point.
I think that you are on to something…that our environmental issues are about wanting more and more electricity…and convenience…we are getting so lazy that we don;t even care that we are heading for extinction.
So, how do we get off the grid?
What does that kind of life look like?
I had never considered bird migration…or fish spawning (actually I have heard about fish ladders and hydroelectric plants)…or toxic solar panels….
we really have lost touch with our interconnectedness.
What a strange perspective, watching the world spin out of control. Occasional reports of disasters that make us afraid.
I saw the Facebook post about protestors in DC against the XL pipeline and the media blackout for it…I got comments about how stupid it is to protest this…but no one mentioned the lack of media coverage…we are being controlled…and we are sheep. I read a legislative press release about several crude oil spills in PA recently…I haven't heard about them in any of the press.
We are sheep.
Love and Light,
Maggie
Monday, March 3, 2014
On a roll tonight!
I have been so heartfeltly open and happy and proud of the students who have chained themselves to the White House fence, to the Natives who are standing in front of the pipeline, of the "elderly" farmer (my age) who has chained himself to a drilling rig.
I felt so happy, then I read a Native prophecy about the Seventh Generation rising up against the powers. And it made me feel alive, we are living in the prophecy. We can see it, we can see the change.
Then I read another prophecy saying that we can't survive unless we thaw our frozen hearts. And I thought about all the work we have been doing here to be authentic and vulnerable. And I feel whole and happy.
I have been thinking about the environment, about the problems we are having. I was discussing Germany with someone today, and how cool it is that they have decided to get rid of all nuclear power plants by 2020. That was bold and forward looking. But, I didn't know that they have replaced nuclear power with burning peat and coal. And I was told that the coal comes from the US. So their cutting back on nuclear power plants, reducing the amount of nuclear waste- for which there is no safe storage technique, has increased the "need" or maybe the profit in mountain-top removal. Who in their right mind ever conceived of using dynamite to blow the tops off of mountains? And who with any sense at all approved it? It is not sane, it is not conservative, our species does not have the right to do this - to destroy the planet in the search for money - created paper.
From what I understand, solar involves toxic ingredients, wind interferes with bird migration - powers that be refuse to put sensors on the mills - they don't want to know, and they don't want to place their wind farms out of migration lanes. Why spend extra time and money on birds?
I started to wonder if the problem is electricity. Just like - the problem is definitely our reliance on petroleum. Maybe there's a better power source than electricity - something that doesn't need dams to interfere with fish spawning, or nuclear reactions to boil water (the first time I realized we are using nuclear reactions to boil water, I almost lost my mind!!!), or coal or peat to cause acid rain, dirty air and decapitated mountains, or wind mills that kill migrating birds.
I also get furious with the constant message - we need more electricity. We are never asked to consider our consumption, and only use what we need...never...
On a roll - but feeling like the good hearts are rising. I hope I am one of them...
Love you,
Clare
I felt so happy, then I read a Native prophecy about the Seventh Generation rising up against the powers. And it made me feel alive, we are living in the prophecy. We can see it, we can see the change.
Then I read another prophecy saying that we can't survive unless we thaw our frozen hearts. And I thought about all the work we have been doing here to be authentic and vulnerable. And I feel whole and happy.
I have been thinking about the environment, about the problems we are having. I was discussing Germany with someone today, and how cool it is that they have decided to get rid of all nuclear power plants by 2020. That was bold and forward looking. But, I didn't know that they have replaced nuclear power with burning peat and coal. And I was told that the coal comes from the US. So their cutting back on nuclear power plants, reducing the amount of nuclear waste- for which there is no safe storage technique, has increased the "need" or maybe the profit in mountain-top removal. Who in their right mind ever conceived of using dynamite to blow the tops off of mountains? And who with any sense at all approved it? It is not sane, it is not conservative, our species does not have the right to do this - to destroy the planet in the search for money - created paper.
From what I understand, solar involves toxic ingredients, wind interferes with bird migration - powers that be refuse to put sensors on the mills - they don't want to know, and they don't want to place their wind farms out of migration lanes. Why spend extra time and money on birds?
I started to wonder if the problem is electricity. Just like - the problem is definitely our reliance on petroleum. Maybe there's a better power source than electricity - something that doesn't need dams to interfere with fish spawning, or nuclear reactions to boil water (the first time I realized we are using nuclear reactions to boil water, I almost lost my mind!!!), or coal or peat to cause acid rain, dirty air and decapitated mountains, or wind mills that kill migrating birds.
I also get furious with the constant message - we need more electricity. We are never asked to consider our consumption, and only use what we need...never...
On a roll - but feeling like the good hearts are rising. I hope I am one of them...
Love you,
Clare
Sunday, March 2, 2014
Connection, or not?
Good question - about abortion based on gender. The horrific part of that is that there are not enough girls in China, there are not enough wives. I have read that younger women are being stolen and sold as brides, forced into marriage. Instead of realizing these is a problem - it is being made worse.
Our species is too short-sighted, and we don't seem to learn from experience.
I have not read 50 Shades of Gray either, and am not interested, although supporters have told me that the main character does heal - becomes less abusive, I suppose. Maybe that's the lesson.
But I think it all goes back to connection and violation. To really be sexual with someone, we have to be absolutely vulnerable, naked on every level. We are not connected. We are terrified of connection - because we do live in a rape culture. Our water, our air, our relationships are toxic, violent - but we adjust. We're all sick, but surviving. And on some level we are looking for health. We want connection, we will do anything for connection, so we use sex to simulate connection. But we are terrified of exposing ourselves, risking rejection, and diving into a true connective relationship with sex as one important part of the glue.
Sex without connection gets boring quickly. So instead of getting naked, we look for novelty. And entertainment tells us what everyone else is doing, and so we try it. And we're cool, and we're accepted - so it's a kind of connection. I saw it happen with 3-ways. No one was terribly interested until media told us it was the thing to do. Suddenly all the lemmings are having 3-ways. When the novelty wore off, the bored were told to move onto anal. No one wants to actually connect. You know?
And so the novel was a look into someone else's failure to connect. And it's popular because we understand. We are not connected.
When I was angry and depressed as an adolescent, I remember thinking - I didn't ask to be born. There were those moments when I wished Mom had not had me...It's a real part of emotion, of our make up.
Just to be fair, I found later that the quote I shared last time was made about 20 years ago. Perhaps this man has become wiser or kinder. Perhaps he has daughters...But the quote is still being pulled out and shown to us. It is still important.
Hugs and kisses,
Clare
Our species is too short-sighted, and we don't seem to learn from experience.
I have not read 50 Shades of Gray either, and am not interested, although supporters have told me that the main character does heal - becomes less abusive, I suppose. Maybe that's the lesson.
But I think it all goes back to connection and violation. To really be sexual with someone, we have to be absolutely vulnerable, naked on every level. We are not connected. We are terrified of connection - because we do live in a rape culture. Our water, our air, our relationships are toxic, violent - but we adjust. We're all sick, but surviving. And on some level we are looking for health. We want connection, we will do anything for connection, so we use sex to simulate connection. But we are terrified of exposing ourselves, risking rejection, and diving into a true connective relationship with sex as one important part of the glue.
Sex without connection gets boring quickly. So instead of getting naked, we look for novelty. And entertainment tells us what everyone else is doing, and so we try it. And we're cool, and we're accepted - so it's a kind of connection. I saw it happen with 3-ways. No one was terribly interested until media told us it was the thing to do. Suddenly all the lemmings are having 3-ways. When the novelty wore off, the bored were told to move onto anal. No one wants to actually connect. You know?
And so the novel was a look into someone else's failure to connect. And it's popular because we understand. We are not connected.
When I was angry and depressed as an adolescent, I remember thinking - I didn't ask to be born. There were those moments when I wished Mom had not had me...It's a real part of emotion, of our make up.
Just to be fair, I found later that the quote I shared last time was made about 20 years ago. Perhaps this man has become wiser or kinder. Perhaps he has daughters...But the quote is still being pulled out and shown to us. It is still important.
Hugs and kisses,
Clare
pondering violation
Wow…that kind of logic just floors me…
and makes me nauseous.
So rape is justified if abortion is legal.
For some reason I am thinking of the forced abortions and sterilizations in China…
and their discarding of female infants because of their single child policies.
I would like to ask the congressman if it matters if it is a female or male fetus…
would that change his considerations?
Conservative rhetoric makes me physically ill…
the way that violation is used to justify another violation…
it's a sick circuitous pattern that is used to confuse and make people agree to because most are sheep wanting to be led.
I, too have had friends who have chosen abortion…
and it was very difficult for them as well.
I used to work for Planned Parenthood, back in my Catholic days, and spoke with women in follow up visits, after their procedure. Not one of them was ever at ease with the decision…it was the best they could do, under the circumstances…we all make decisions like that…with no clear right or wrong…just options.
I saw a 13 year old boy yesterday who has been in foster care since birth…
so confused and angry…
I would never say that his life isn't valuable…
but what if?
That makes me feel like a monster to write…
but I will leave it here…
for the record.
I often wonder what life would have been like if our mother didn't procreate every year for 10 straight.
If she had used contraception effectively our dynamics may have been very different. It is a futile exercise…but I do think about it.
How would I respond to such an ignorant statement? My mind cycles back to "2 wrongs don't make a right"… how could assaulting and violating women make rape acceptable? That is all about fear, coercion and controlling. How about we rape every man that has sex with a prostitute, uses condoms or masterbates? They are just as guilty of preventing life.
I have to think about this.
I read an article about 50 Shades of Grey…the popular novel that is being made into a movie. I did not read the book but it is extremely popular, with men and women, and it is based upon intimate partner violence. I spoke with the director of the DV shelter and she was unaware of this…not even those "in the know" realize the message that is being projected…that it is incredibly stimulating and entertaining to watch a man control and abuse a woman. I have heard casual references to this book for over a year now…and never realized how malignant the message is. Humans are entertained by violation…why?
It really makes me wonder.
Until tomorrow,
Love and Light,
Maggie
and makes me nauseous.
So rape is justified if abortion is legal.
For some reason I am thinking of the forced abortions and sterilizations in China…
and their discarding of female infants because of their single child policies.
I would like to ask the congressman if it matters if it is a female or male fetus…
would that change his considerations?
Conservative rhetoric makes me physically ill…
the way that violation is used to justify another violation…
it's a sick circuitous pattern that is used to confuse and make people agree to because most are sheep wanting to be led.
I, too have had friends who have chosen abortion…
and it was very difficult for them as well.
I used to work for Planned Parenthood, back in my Catholic days, and spoke with women in follow up visits, after their procedure. Not one of them was ever at ease with the decision…it was the best they could do, under the circumstances…we all make decisions like that…with no clear right or wrong…just options.
I saw a 13 year old boy yesterday who has been in foster care since birth…
so confused and angry…
I would never say that his life isn't valuable…
but what if?
That makes me feel like a monster to write…
but I will leave it here…
for the record.
I often wonder what life would have been like if our mother didn't procreate every year for 10 straight.
If she had used contraception effectively our dynamics may have been very different. It is a futile exercise…but I do think about it.
How would I respond to such an ignorant statement? My mind cycles back to "2 wrongs don't make a right"… how could assaulting and violating women make rape acceptable? That is all about fear, coercion and controlling. How about we rape every man that has sex with a prostitute, uses condoms or masterbates? They are just as guilty of preventing life.
I have to think about this.
I read an article about 50 Shades of Grey…the popular novel that is being made into a movie. I did not read the book but it is extremely popular, with men and women, and it is based upon intimate partner violence. I spoke with the director of the DV shelter and she was unaware of this…not even those "in the know" realize the message that is being projected…that it is incredibly stimulating and entertaining to watch a man control and abuse a woman. I have heard casual references to this book for over a year now…and never realized how malignant the message is. Humans are entertained by violation…why?
It really makes me wonder.
Until tomorrow,
Love and Light,
Maggie
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